


Three Banners Three-Way (But Not THAT Kind)

by DayRaincat



Category: Elder Scrolls, Elder Scrolls Online, Original Work
Genre: Comedy, Dark Comedy, Don't copy to another site, Fantasy, Fourth Wall, Gallows Humor, Gen, Humor, Killing, Nonbinary Character, Original Character Death(s), Roleplaying Character, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2020-10-11
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:02:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26946394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DayRaincat/pseuds/DayRaincat
Summary: A slightly fictionalized account of an actual "tragic" (haha) roleplay defeat in the Three Banners War. 😅 Or, an illustrated guide to how I will always suck at PVP.(Contains seven screenshot "illustrations.")
Comments: 6
Kudos: 19





	Three Banners Three-Way (But Not THAT Kind)

**Author's Note:**

> For **OCtober 2020 Week 2, prompt "Come At Me, Bro/In A Fight."** I'm not posting this as an OCtober series because the involved fics are all unrelated to each other.
> 
>  **All OCtober 2020 prompts:**  
>  **Week 1:[Introduction To OC](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26765527)** \- Who's your OC? What are they like? What's their role? (Contains three screenshots)  
>  **Week 2: Come At Me, Bro/In A Fight** \- Your OC is in combat! Who started it? How does OC fare? (You're here!)  
>  **Week 3: Captured!/Arrested!** \- Guess your OC lost the fight! How do they cope with being taken prisoner? ( _The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim_ setting)  
>  **Week 4:[Game Over](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27187069)** \- Oh, no. Your OC didn't survive. What happened? How do others react? (Original RPG setting)  
>  **Halloween Grand Finale:[Spooky Scary OC Adventures/Halloween Costume](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27241192)** \- Share some Halloween-themed fun with your OC! (Original RPG setting)
> 
> This is a segment of an in-game scene that played out via my RP buddies in _The Elder Scrolls Online._ *Troublemakers Of Tamriel fistbump* I tried to keep the character dialogue as close to our original chat log as possible, just fixing typos, making some clarifications, and removing OOC chat (which, given the situation, was mostly swearing 😅). I may have also inserted a "cowardly Lions" joke that I will not apologize for, Bonkers. 😘 There will be ESO PVP slang and terminology I'm not gonna explain here because it's not really needed to follow the story. You readers are smart: I'm pretty sure you can figure out what's what from context. :)  
> 
> 
> **Cast/Credits:**
> 
>  **Kila** (Nord Warden [Norden lololol]), played by Janey Laney  
>  **Rahid at-Kaphiq** (Redguard Dragonknight) played by CostumeBonkers  
>  **Dæniaryn Hyleyssa** (non-Nirn alien; ESO version is a Bosmer Dragonknight [my kingdom for a class change token!]), played by me  
>  **Seffryn Delfiranth** (non-Nirn alien; ESO version is a Dunmer Nightblade), played by me (he was only there in RP spirit, not in actuality, since he's on the same ESO account as Dæniaryn....)
> 
> —You get to experience Dæniaryn's terribleness at battlecries and tendency to mess up language due to not spending long enough on any one world to master the use of local nuance. 😁
> 
> —If you play ESO, guess which skills were being cast el oh lol (and, yes, Seffryn who was not _actually_ there would technically be casting Shadowy Disguise to go invisible because Nightblade, but since it's not in his lore to know invisibility magic, it's a charmed pendant in this story).
> 
> —Astute eyes (or those belonging to people who spend far too much time in Cyrodiil) will notice that the Daggerfall Covenant siege screenshot is actually taking place at Castle Roebeck and not Castle Alessia, due to not being able to get shots of that part while the actual RP was taking place.
> 
> —Contains all the fourth-wall leaning you can eat. Okay, so not actually that much. I am merciful. Sometimes.

**Location: Castle Alessia, Cyrodiil**

Kila sighed and leaned out over the wall, ducking back just fast enough to avoid taking an arrow through the eye (or knee). Her catapult had collapsed into a useless mass of rubble thanks to the ranged attacks arcing up from their enemies below. "Well, we're surrounded. And I'm out of siege."

"And I'm out of patience," Rahid grumbled. "I say we go down and die like warriors!"

A headshake from Dæniaryn. "Dying _really_ isn't as glorious or honorable as you seem to think. It's honestly more just lonely and painful and kind of gross with all the blood coming out. Trust me on that."

Seffryn, intentionally responsible for at least one of Dæniaryn's deaths, just shrugged. He hadn't said a word in hours, but that was normal.

Rahid stepped back from the parapet, just before some enemy Templar's killing pool of light struck the ground and flared. "Ah, cowardly Lions!" he called down to the Daggerfall opposition, furious. "Come up here and attack us, not stand your worthless ground shooting little craven beams!"

"You know enemies can't see what you're saying in chat, right?" Dæniaryn asked. "Oh…wait. We're roleplaying. Right. Carry on, then."

Kila ignored Dæniaryn's strange language as usual. "Rahid! Don't taunt them!"

"Yeah, stop tanking for like ten seconds before you get us all shot." Dæniaryn grabbed the wall to stay up as an explosion shook the castle. "Oh, _good,_ they're back to destroying our keep now."

_[Image description: Dæniaryn (Elder Scrolls Online version), shown as a tiny red-haired Wood Elf crouched in sneak mode atop a Cyrodiil keep wall, spying on Daggerfall Covenant enemy forces sieging the main gate.]_

Going his own way as he typically did, Seffryn used the cloaking charm and invisibly crept down the stairs, possibly looking for a separated straggler from the enemy group to ambush.

"Where are you—ah, well." Rahid's attention left Seffryn and returned to the forces sieging the keep.

 _*Where_ are _you going, Seffryn?*_ Dæniaryn sent telepathically. _*If you get killed down there, I'm not dragging your body off this planet when I leave.*_ Empty threat, considering Dæniaryn had no say in arriving or leaving and definitely wouldn't be allowed to bring Seffryn along either way.

Seffryn didn't reply, though Dæniaryn knew he heard. That was also standard Seffryn.

A warhorn sounded outside—unnecessarily, it seemed, until Kila spotted the force approaching from the east. "Uh, Ebonheart's coming. Big group. Maybe we should abandon the keep and wait until we can make our own big group?"

Dæniaryn checked the magicka map, the one that updated along with the progress of combat around Cyrodiil (barring server lag, of course). "We don't own anything between here and the base. We're kiiiiiinda sorta trapped here. Rahid's gonna get his glorious last stand."

"Pah. With a soul gem and a friendly healer, I will be ready to fight again if they cut me down!" Rahid yelled the last part at the enemy forces, who at the moment were too busy engaging each other to continue attacking the keep. Rahid raised an arm, casting an empowering spell that flowed around Dæniaryn and Kila.

Their attacks boosted beyond normal damage, the three began picking at the other two factions tearing each other apart down on the ground. Their strikes from on high weren't particularly impressive, but at least they were putting in an effort, and a few hostile fighters even dropped from their attacks.

_[Image description: Dæniaryn (Elder Scrolls Online version), shown as a tiny red-haired Wood Elf standing atop a Cyrodiil keep wall, firing a shock staff at enemy players (including the obligatory man wearing nothing but the Nordic Bath Towel and a player wearing the naked skeleton polymorph), alongside Rahid, a human man dressed in bright whites, blues, and orange-gold and firing another staff, and Kila, a human woman dressed all in black and loosing arrows from a bow.]_

"Does anyone think we'll be lucky enough that they'll kill each other, and we only need to weed out the survivors?" Kila called over the clashing metal and screaming voices.

"Since when are we _ever_ that lucky?" Dæniaryn called back, targeting the closest Daggerfall Covenant soldier with a lightning staff. "Unless one of you is running Cheat Engine or something—and you better not be—pretty sure we're fucked!" The Lion rolled out of attack range. Dæniaryn swore again.

They definitely _weren't_ that lucky. After a long battle that also felt like seconds, the invading Ebonheart force took out the last Daggerfall fighter that failed to flee. The three trapped on the wall felt their hearts (metaphorical or otherwise) drop when the Dragons began resurrecting their fallen comrades.

"Wonderful," Kila muttered. "Instead of being slain by twenty blueberries, we'll get slain by thirty strawberries." Below, the Dragons took over sieging the keep door, finishing what the Lions had started.

Dæniaryn unholstered a restoration staff and began preparing protection spells. Nice thing about staves in this part of the Universe—using one was the next best thing to casting your own magic. No unintended explosions (otherwise common, if you were Dæniaryn). And the staves were fully charged with magicka. They'd probably outlive their wielders today. "Still looking forward to that death in battle, Rahid?" 

Unlike the other two, Rahid was grinning. "Always. The blood of the Sword-singers is my legacy. I'm not afraid of death."

"I mean, neither am I, but I don't generally _run_ towards it laughing," Dæniaryn replied.

Seffryn, no longer invisible, ran over from the top of the staircase. "Three are dead and out of sight of their companions," he said, giving one of his daggers a swift wipe with a bit of torn cloth stolen from a corpse. "The back wall is down. More soldiers are coming through from there. None are ours."

"Huh." Dæniaryn glanced at him. "I half thought you bolted when you went invisible."

The first trace of emotion crossed Seffryn's face—irritation, common when interacting with Dæniaryn. "The pendant wouldn't last long enough for that," he retorted. "I left to see if I could find anything usable."

"Ah, so you _would_ have ditched us if you could've."

Seffryn scoffed. "My contract isn't with any of you. I wouldn't stay here if I had a choice."

Rahid shook his head. "The loyalty of an assassin is only worth the gold given one," he said gravely. "I suppose we must be grateful you fight alongside us for now. Ruptga willing, we'll all survive to debate your allegiances later."

All four went silent, just trying to keep their balance while the keep shuddered under siege weapons.

Kila stood, frustrated, after about half a minute had passed. "Anyone got a boisterous battlecry for the brave Eagle forces holding this keep?" her voice boomed out, attempting to bluff the army below as to how many fighters lurked inside the castle hall.

"Eagles? Ha! Rotten bananas about to get squished under our heels, you mean!" someone yelled up from below, obviously not intimidated in the slightest. Kila made an obscene finger gesture over the wall. A Dragon on the lawn laughed.

"I'll give it a shot." Dæniaryn risked a run up to the edge of the parapet to be in full view, standing in a gap between two segments of coping.

Rahid winced. "Oh, no...."

Dæniaryn drew a deep breath and shouted down, _"I DON'T CARE HOW MANY OF YOU ARE DOWN THERE—WE'RE GONNA **LICK ALL YOUR ASSES!"**_

_[Image description: Dæniaryn (Elder Scrolls Online version), shown as a tiny red-haired Wood Elf standing atop a Cyrodiil parapet, shouting a failed battlecry at enemy soldiers on the ground. Screenshot was taken from 3/4 in front of Dæniaryn.]_

Both Kila and Rahid groaned. Seffryn didn't react at all, but Dæniaryn could almost _feel_ him doing a mental facepalm.

A few of the Ebonheart people down below just stopped and stared for a moment, safe behind their siege engines. The rest waited to see what would happen next. Kila darted forward and leaned out from behind the coping to whisper in Dæniaryn's ear.

Anyone nearby on the ground with exceptional hearing might have heard the reply: "Huh? I thought 'lick' meant to beat someone? You mean I _can't_ use it in this context? What're you _supposed_ to say, then?"

Another whisper, then Dæniaryn sang out, in exactly the same tone and pose as before, _"I DON'T CARE HOW MANY OF YOU ARE DOWN THERE—WE'RE GONNA **KICK ALL YOUR ASSES!"**_

_[Image description: Dæniaryn (Elder Scrolls Online version), shown as a tiny red-haired Wood Elf standing atop a Cyrodiil parapet, shouting a failed battlecry at enemy soldiers on the ground. Same shout, but different angle on the screenshot, taken from 3/4 behind.]_

An impatient Ebonheart immediately started firing an inferno staff at Dæniaryn, who ducked back and retreated to the illusion of safety. Kila had already returned to her spot out of range.

"It looks like now we can die hopelessly outnumbered _and_ completely embarrassed," Kila said, just before the siege engines resumed their attack on the keep. She swirled her hands, and her cool frost shields surrounded the little group.

Dæniaryn began to respond, but was drowned out by the explosive splintering and shattering of the keep door.

_[Image description: Dæniaryn (Elder Scrolls Online version), shown as a tiny red-haired Wood Elf standing atop a Cyrodiil keep wall, preparing to attack Ebonheart enemy players on the ground. The keep door has been broken open, enemy players streaming inside the keep. Next to Dæniaryn, Rahid, a human man dressed in bright whites, blues, and orange-gold, is firing an inferno staff upon an enemy player. Both Dæniaryn and Rahid are taking damage; damage numbers show for Dæniaryn, and Rahid is bleeding.]_

**Author's Note:**

> (Barely any time later, we were all completely wiped out and resurrecting back at the Aldmeri Dominion base far away—well, except Seffryn, who of course is _in_ Ebonheart Pact and could not be killed by them even if he'd been "physically" present in-game, but for RP purposes totally lost the fight. Needless to say, we also lost Castle Alessia. :P~ I did, however, leave Dæniaryn's body there for a while before rezzing while I AFK'ed [see below], just to clutter up Ebonheart's nice new keep. 😁)
> 
>   
> _[Image description: Dæniaryn (Elder Scrolls Online version), shown as a tiny red-haired Wood Elf lying dead face-down atop a Cyrodiil keep wall, surrounded by a large number of Ebonheart Pact enemy players. The death screen is all in shades of blue and red.]_
> 
>   
> _[Image description: Dæniaryn (Elder Scrolls Online version), shown as a tiny red-haired Wood Elf lying dead face-down atop a Cyrodiil keep wall, flanked by a two Ebonheart Pact enemy NPC's and a large Ebonheart dragon banner. The death screen is all in shades of blue.]_


End file.
